All the single people, all the single people… stop worrying about us.
Dear Couples,
Don’t worry about your single friends on Valentine’s Day. There are a few things that could be going on and none of them will be fixed by you telling them they’ll be ok, be happy one day or that they can be the third on your date. They know you are interested in the single lifestyle and how they are doing, they know. Is being single better than being in a relationship? No. Is it better than being in YOUR relationship? Quite possibly. Yes, it gets lonely, please stop asking. Here are some possible reasons this person doesn’t have a Valentine:
- They don’t want one: I know this is hard to believe but some people don’t want a Valentine. Some people are happy being single, maybe they want to be on their own for once, order food and be lazy without another person judging them. Buy the candy they like instead of hoping someone else will remember and not judge them. Why let a date ruin your ability to wear sweatpants. Some people enjoy their alone time and I know I get hungry whether another person is there or not.
- They don’t believe in it: I know plenty of couples that don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day because they don’t play into the idea you should be told when to treat your partner special, you can do that whenever you want. Or they don’t celebrate because they hate each other and they don’t want to break that streak. So it’s not so crazy that a single person wouldn’t feel pressure to partake in a ‘holiday’ that is based around buying stuff you don’t need.
- They are picky: This is a hard one for a lot of coupled people to understand but some single people have high standards. Maybe your friend is patiently waiting for the person that makes them want to celebrate Valentine’s Day to come into their life and they are well aware that person is not your boyfriend’s friend from work.
There could be plenty of other reasons that your friend you have deemed lonely does not want to participate in Valentine’s Day. Whatever their reason, I can guarantee you are not making it better by ‘trying to help.’
Dear Singles,
Don’t worry about your coupled friends. This is what I have recently come to understand about being single around couples. As the genius I am, last week I invited 6 couples to my own birthday party where I was alone, so I believe I am a seasoned extra wheel. This is what I have figured out, other people’s relationships have nothing to do with us!
What?
Yeah.
Just because you see someone else is in a relationship doesn’t mean you can’t have one too. A lot of times that makes us go “aw, I wish I was good enough for something like that.” Or whatever. When you could be thinking “oh thank goodness that exists.” I have been on this new ‘be happy for happy couples’ thing and I really like it. For a long time I looked at my parents and thought ‘these happy bitches, always having fun together, married for a long time, making my standards so high!’ But what I should have been thinking was ‘oh thank god, someone as weird as me can have that.’
It’s actually kind of fun being happy for other healthy couples. In reality, your own loneliness doesn’t get better if they don’t work out. That just affirms something in your head that tells you it’s not possible. So today I have been spending my time liking all their cute photos and sappy posts because I do actually want that to exist. You do too, even if it’s not for yourself.
Don’t let your coupled friends make you feel any pressure in being single anyway, there is nothing wrong with it. There is nothing wrong with taking your time and being right. There is something so right with infinite patience and when you find that (it’s not easy) then something good will happen. Until then, have a Happy Secretly Eating a Fuck-Ton of Carbs Day!
Monica