Monica Nevi


Tag: Motivation

YOUR [SMART]Goals for 2018

Normally, when I post articles here I am sure to remind you that I don’t know what I’m talking about and these are just my ideas. However, this is much different because I have read upwards of six books since the last time I posted, so I’m much smarter now and goal setting is something I’m obsessive about.

I already have made an extensive list with detailed interim steps for my own goals this year and each morning I write a list of intentions. So, since I love it so much, I went ahead and wrote your goals for this year for you. I’m proud of you for choosing so wisely.


First, we’ll quickly discuss what SMART goals are and how I interpret them. If you look it up people will tell you that a SMART goal is one that is Specific, Measurable, Attainable or Action Oriented, Realistic or Relevant and Time-Bound. The answers will depend on which fucking adult worksheet you have looked up. This is a fine way to set goals if you have trouble thinking of things other than “my goal is to stop being a piece of shit.” For this, I have my own definition of SMART goals and since I wrote your goals for you, taking a quick glance over them might be a good idea.

S = Sexy

Your goals should be attractive. To you specifically. No one is excited to work hard for a goal they think they have to do to better themselves for other people. Everyone wants to be sexy for no reason, so think about the outcome of the outcome. “I work out everyday to maintain quality health”…. AND LOOK SEXY AS FUCK. “I budget my finances each month so I can afford special things I want” … LIKE VACATIONS ON SEXY BEACHES OR MASSAGES.


Successful people know what is important to achieving their goals and how to delegate everything else. Make sure you set goals that you can focus on and stop worrying about other people’s bullshit and opinions. If you want it and you can manage focusing on it, you got it.


Be creative. All the time. Just because you haven’t been calling yourself an artist up until now doesn’t mean you can’t get creative with your goals and what you spend your successes on. Get weird, it makes everything so much better.


I keep this one on here to define what realistic is. You’re reality is different than mine, so whatever you see feasible and able to fit in yours, is real. Optimism and reality are not separate things, it’s your reality so make it the best you can. No matter what you choose to focus on, make it perfect and when someone says ‘oh, come on be realistic’ simply reply ‘I am, fuck you.’


This is the hardest one mostly because we have gotten locked in the idea we shouldn’t trust anyone and that authenticity is dead. That’s not the case. The very first person you should trust is yourself and that’s what this is about. Trust that what you choose to focus on as a goal is what you truly want for yourself. Trust that all the hard work you are doing works. Trust your heart. Trust that you deserve and will attain these goal.

Here Are Your 2018 Goals

Unconditional Gratitude

You are grateful for everything you have and are given. Every step you take this year, no matter how tiny, is worth viewing through wonderment. It is wonderful that you got a new job, it is also wonderful that someone delivers a paper to your door and wonderful that people liked your Instagram post. Every little part is amazing. This is part of being present in the moment, as you appreciate what is happening you are aware of it completely. Valuing things, people and showing appreciation is a very attractive quality.

“I list things that I am grateful for at the same time everyday in 2018”

Eliminate Comparisons

Other people are going to disagree with your choices or judge you but that is based in fear and actually has nothing to do with you. In that same vein you don’t judge other people for what they are choosing to do. It’s a waste of time and energy on both sides. Your happiness and your goals are the only thing you are concerned with and anyone who is comparing themselves to anything else is simply afraid to let themselves be happy.

“I am happy and excited about my life in 2018”


The opposite of fear. Fear, worry and guilt are the most useless wastes of time ever. You poison yourself with stress worrying and fearing things that are never going to happen or be as bad as you think. You poison yourself feeling guilty over things you cannot change, that have already happened.

You are brave, fearless and confident. People talk about confidence being the best thing in the world, something they admire. Confident people have no concept of fear or worry. They are not threatened by the unknown because they know it is limitless, it can be as good as possibly imagined.

“I am brave and embrace the vast possibilities of the unknown in 2018”


This is how you know you are alive. Just by setting these goals and examining what you want to improve on, is growth. There isn’t really a right or wrong anything, there are just different answers. Through loss of loved ones and my work this year I have come to understand that there is no stopping growth, otherwise you are dead. Therefore, you pick the direction you want to grow in and just keep walking that way. Do whatever you want because you want to, it will always be a growing experience.

“I am constantly learning and growing from every experience I have in 2018”


Love yourself. It becomes reflected in how you love other people when you can love yourself. Love yourself enough to enjoy what makes you happy. Love yourself enough to spend time with the people you want to. Love yourself enough to go out and achieve your goals. Love yourself enough to allow your top priority to be feeling good. Love yourself enough to find happiness in circumstances other people find insanity. Love yourself enough to radiate love and draw other wonderful people to you. Love yourself enough to come to Monica Nevi’s shows and allow yourself to laugh.

“I love myself and the people in my life so much that we go to Monica Nevi’s shows whenever possible in 2018”

I think those are great goals for every person, they are written in the present tense because you are already accepting that they are real right now, they are a part of how you work this year. No matter how 2017 was for you it is behind us now, you are free from whatever it did to you. 2018 is now and so are you! Remember that these are your goals and not mine so don’t expect me to be any nicer to you than I already am.

Author’s Notes: Having a positive outlook on the year does not mean there will not be difficulty and pain at some times, it simply means you can work through it easier. Feel your emotions, all of them but also know you can have everything that you want and you deserve it.


This October Take the Trash Out of Your Life

We are over halfway through the month of October and in preparation for my yearly Holiday Explosion followed by medium sized breakdown I figured why wait till Spring to do some cleaning. October seemed like the perfect month to take the garbage people out of my life. I am not talking about waste management services, those are angels in disguise. I’m talking about actual garbage posing as a person you may want to have in your life. We all want to be better, stronger, happier people. To lead us into this, here is motivational mad man Dan Peña to tell us how the people in your life effect your overall ability to be successful:

Now, I am not advocating cutting off all the people in your life, I am just encouraging you to sort them out differently. Like things that we have had for a long time some of it is garbage, some can be recycled and some can be composted to provide a natural nourishment even though it is gone. The most important is knowing what is garbage, that’s what needs to be removed immediately for health reasons. Here area few types of garbage people that must be removed.


  1.  Those Who Can’t Celebrate You
    I have made this mistake more than once. This is the person who will first disguise their insecurities with “not wanting it to go to your head” when something good happens for you. As this goes on you will notice that you are never able to celebrate your accomplishments with this person. Anything that happens for you evokes either jealousy or fear that you will outgrow them. Unfortunately, by doing this they don’t realize that you already have. It’s harder now to be optimistic than ever before, have people in your life that not only celebrate your successes but help you dream and work for things you never thought imaginable. The person who won’t allow you to feel good about the amazing things you are doing is trash and needs to be taken out of your life can.
  2. The Argumentative
    This trash can be the most exhausting trash to have in your life. People who want to argue are usually people who just can’t admit when they are wrong or have trouble being flexible about anything. Which if you are bringing up the same thing over and over and nothing is changing this person does not respect you. Also, arguing is a sign of stupidity and we should all surround ourselves with people on our intellectual level and higher. Stupid people like to argue because it is the only way they can feel dominant. The smartest people can disagree, discuss and then still disagree but gain an understanding of the other person. The bag of garbage that is this person will decrease your ability to focus on good things or be happy as you spend too much energy arguing. Throw that trash out of your life!
  3.  People Who Think You Are Trash
    Here is the confusing part, you’ll be trash to someone too. Whoever it may be, they may be wrong or maybe just not right but some people make us into trash. If you think you are trash to someone who just hasn’t come to grips with it, throw them out first. Laying in a pile of trash only makes you dirty too. More often than not this person has projected something on you, making you believe you are not good enough. People who are frustrated that you are not doing what they want will make you feel like you are a bad person, you are not. They frequently want to tell you how you feel or what your intentions are when you already know that. In a similar sense if someone is not into you, get them out of there too, being desperate and chasing is not attractive or helpful in relationship balance. Someone who thinks you are anything but great is trash, get them out of here!
  4.  The Compensation Seeker
    There are people who constantly need to be compensated for everything. Being acknowledged is one thing but this person only does things to get something they want out of you. People should be in your life because they want to be and they appreciate you for who you are. Take care of those ones when you can, do not feel obligated to take care of them all the time. Real friendships reciprocate these things naturally. The most important part of this one is the negative compensation, this is the person who when frustrated with you will do something to get you back. You decide you want a break from the relationship and they immediately sleep with someone to hurt you. This trash is the reason Ross is everyone’s least favorite character. Basically anyone who threatens you, they are trash take them out!
  5.  Anyone Who Doesn’t Make You Feel Good
    Let’s just stop wasting our time pretending we like people or denying the inevitable, that way you can focus on the rad people in your life and strengthen those relationships or find the new ones that will actually work. I have spent countless hours playing in the trash when I could have been recycling or happy. If someone makes you feel bad about yourself, what you are doing or needs something to make themselves feel better clean them out of your life can!!!


Not everyone is trash, some people can be re-purposed, some can even be up-cycled. These are people who maybe have been used up in their original capacity but can now be used for something else. Examples of this include a co-worker that can become a friend, a friend that can become a lover, an ex-husband can become a parenting partner or your friend’s cousin can become a sexual learning experience. The best way to recycle is to first determine if it is trash or not, then recycle it as something that is much better for your environment than creating more trash for yourself.


These are the things that are completely lost, they can’t come back or be used for anything else but they will be a part of your environment forever. Allow them to nourish the new growth in your life. The good parts of them will be fuel for the next steps and the bad parts just disappear. These people may be those who have passed on, relationships that may have ended because of reasons outside of trash (i.e. timing, location, other complications), friends that are taken down distant paths from you. Absorb the good parts and forget the bad ones. Know that trash cannot be composted it just sits on top of everything until you throw it out.

October is the month to get the trash out of your life so you can focus on the upcoming months of family and friends and people worth your energy! I am excited to enter November with an empty life can, there is too much crazy happening not to! Think about it… or you can just see this as trash and throw it right out of your head dumpster. We are all just trying to make our carbon assholeprint smaller.

Here is a short meditation I made specifically for October. Now that you are starting to sort some of the garbage people out of your life listen to this to relax you and help you finish the month out strong.

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