Comedian

Tag: Election

Achieving Dreams in Chaos

Mostly Finger Guns is here.

We need a break.

I love checking off lists. I love finishing something I said I was going to. I love being done. That being said, I’m not that organized and I struggle to manage my time in a regular scenario, let alone this one. 

I set a lot of goals this year, which by the time March rolled around, seemed like a setup! A lot of those goals were to finish projects I had been dreaming about and working on for years leading up to this.

I recorded my first standup album in December of 2019, after Christmas, literally as late in 2019 as you could get. We sold out shows at The Comedy Underground, I hand picked six people to open for me that all crushed it and I had the most fun I have had on stage.

I had been working since Spring of 2019 recording guided meditations for a 10-track album (out in one month!) and sending them to a composer, Jeremy Shabo, who was putting them to original music. We would talk about what kind of feel I wanted while listening to it and then he would come back with something perfect. I felt great about the progress I was making and excited to have something more to give to you, finally.

Cue 2020.

I was finishing up the meditations and getting calls from the label about the standup album and how happy they were with it. Still touring and enjoying shows, excited to tell people my albums were coming out (they would clap when I just said I was putting one out). Then this ALL happened.

The largest crowd I have performed for in 2020 was giving my cousin’s eulogy. The next night I performed in a movie theater for a lot less people and made jokes about my Corona tattoo. Sure, I got laughs at both but it was less than a week before everything shut down and I might never do standup as we knew it, again. 

We had no idea what we were in for.

When this all first started, I did not know what to expect, none of us did. I couldn’t have predicted this. We would be eight months into a pandemic and semi-lockdown when I finally achieve dreams I have had for 10 years. It does make the release feel a little bit different. 

My love affair with stand-up, now feels like a long-distance relationship. Everyone tells you that you can make it work with Zoom, you’ll be together again one day and at least they can’t get you pregnant.

I ‘found’ stand-up when I was in a terribly low point in my life. I put found in quotes because I had wanted to do it since I was 14 but it took a lot of personal struggle and six years to actually get up and do it. I was a month from being 21 and really had nothing to lose. I watched people record live albums, I bought them all and later on I opened for SO many comedians recording their albums. I opened for one label five times in one year and there was never a mention of recording me, at all. 

Give us a break!

A lot of my career, I have felt like I just needed a break. Well a lot of my life. Which, I understand isn’t the best outlook to have for an optimist but it piles on after awhile and I’m sure we all feel that way. I had been toying with the idea of just recording my own album and figuring out how to put it out but I really wanted someone to do that for me. 

A year before the pandemic started I was at the Limestone Comedy Festival in Bloomington, Indiana, stressing about how I would get the most out of the three days I would be there. I guess I did okay because right before I was headed out to leave, Ross Duncliffe from On Tour Records asked to have a coffee meeting before I left. He wanted to record my album and I’m so glad that we did and so glad I took 20 minutes before taking a shuttle to Indianapolis to talk with him. 

The experience of getting the album the way I wanted, recording over a full weekend, hand selecting my openers and watching them crush followed by the months of listening over and over again afterward to make sure it’s great, was all a stress I had wanted to experience for so long. Now it’s happened and during the weirdest time. Did I imagine not being able to tour when it came out? No. Did I know I would have to conquer a Ninja Sex Party to top the charts? No. I thought that would mean something different. It seems like it could be tainted in some way but for me, it actually feels like I got a bit of break, right when I needed it.

It’s like the NBA.

I can only compare it to basketball because that’s the only thing I compare anything too. If you won this year, if you were the LA Lakers or the Seattle Storm, some people may give you an asterisk. Some people seem to think it would have been easier to have a season in a bubble, during a pandemic. But I think the asterisk means it was harder. Watching the NBA and WNBA get tested every single day, have to play games every other day, be activists everyday, all while separated from their families… kind of makes regular seasons look simple. 

As much as I want to celebrating today with you, in person, performing, having bud lights with my family, I am proud to have the asterisk of making this happen DESPITE the situation we are in. I feel like Sue Bird in the clutch today, we made it happen anyway and I am Megan Rapinoe’s favorite comic. 

A good friend told me I was immortal now. What an interesting way to think about it. This exists forever now. I feel special to have become immortal during a pandemic! I’m ready for my Marvel movie now. 

I hope listening to it, gives you a break when you need it to. Break from politics, from remote learning, from work and from me posting about it. 

I am proud of what we’ve done and I’m so thankful to have all the people in my life and all the people who are getting a break with this album as a part of my team! Join us for the livestream celebration show 10/30/2020 on YouTube at 7pm pacific time. 

Thank you so much, 

Monica Nevi

Click to get your copy!  

 

 

The Most Concerning Poll Results this ENTIRE Election!

The media tells us something different about the 2016 Presidential Election everyday. Clinton is winning today but Trump is winning tomorrow. The only information scarier than what the media is reporting is what they are not. There are things going on in our country and on an individual level that we are ignoring. Everyday our overall lack of self-awareness, the presence of self-hate and our inherent ability to just be mean to ourselves and one another are marching us closer to the end of times.debate1

At this point you are wondering what I am talking about. A week ago I took it upon myself to start a twitter poll asking one of the most important questions asked this year. The poll and results brought up some tremendous concerns on literal and figurative levels.

The Question

If time travel was possible and a future version of yourself returned to your current self and offered to go down on you, would you do it?

The Results:
twitter-poll
It was a tight race most of the time. Yes was up for quite awhile. Then No. Then Yes. Then No.

The Concern

First of all, there is a right answer. It is yes. The concern with the majority ending up swaying to the no side is that there is a blatant lack of self-love happening. If we can’t even love ourselves, how are we supposed to love anyone else? I have always said, why would I expect anyone else to want to have a box lunch or have sex with me if I wouldn’t consider it myself? Think about the product you are putting out there before criticizing other people for not wanting it. If you are confident in yourself, they will be drawn to you. Secondly, you don’t have to tell anyone. Even if you were embarrassed by kneeling at your own altar, which you shouldn’t be, you could 100% keep it a secret. I can’t even tell who voted for what on twitter unless you added a clever disclaimer. My initial thought is if you are afraid to say yes for some feeling of shame, there is probably another list of things you are hiding. Finally, since it is hypothetical at this point you get to pick what version of yourself it is. You can get your shit together, you can be the body type or personality type you want to be and then be rewarded for the work you have yet to put into that body. If you are having issues with your own confidence you get to make your future self who you want to be, which is a fun exercise. What can you add to your life to allow yourself time travel self pleasure?

Great Points by Voters

Much like the election, the poll led to some points that I hadn’t even thought of from both sides. Some had concerns about what their future self might look like:

Although I had not considered that, I figured it is a hypothetical and you can make yourself as hot as you want. Which brings us back to the original point of lacking self worth. You can make your body however you want it in a fantasy, the second guy wanted a bigger version of himself. You get to chose how hot you are but your negative thoughts about yourself aren’t allowing you to do that. Others nailed this part:

I didn’t necessarily mean for it to be a divisive question and was honestly prepared for people to be full of humor and self love and say yes. However, some people were just as appalled as I was and let us know their reasons:

The Flaws

There are a few flaws in the process:

  1. Small voter turnout. It is a known political science statistic that results stop varying after a sample size of 1,200 votes are taken, which was well off from 53 voters in this poll.
  2. Voter requirements. Although advertised on other social media outlets, the voter must have had a twitter account to be able to participate in the poll, leaving many unable to vote.
  3. Potential voter fraud. There was one conservative voter than was very unhappy with the idea that people may want to say yes to themselves and after leaving the polling headquarters to go hang out with a group of registered but uncounted voters the numbers jumped up on the no side.

I am not saying the results would be different had these flaws been addressed but it may be worth trying again.

The Election

What does this have to do with current Presidential Election that will wrap up in just a matter of days? So much. We have spent the last year compiling reasons why we hate each of the candidates and letting those drops of hatred creep into our feelings for one another and based on this poll our feelings for ourselves. The fact that every single one of us does not shout “YES!” when asked if we would let our future self go down on us is a sad reflection of what we think the future holds for healthcare, education, science programs and equality in our nation. If we can’t be confident enough in the United States of America’s ability to provide healthcare affordable enough that all of our futures include a healthy and attractive body to visit the southern regions, an America with an education system that promotes self worth and love, science programs that make this scenario less hypothetical and more realistic or provide an environment where people of any race, religion, socio-economic background, mental health, gender or sexual orientation feel confident in who they are and comfortable enough with themselves that they feel excited about letting their time traveling clone go to work downstairs then I think we are in far more trouble than we realized.

The moral of the story is that we need to vote, for the best interest of ourselves and upholding the important things we hold dear to each of us. You should be number one on your list all the time, you’re great. The other important part to realize is that this was just another perfect example of how my freedom of speech allowed me to use something so ridiculous to force my positive thoughts on you. I love you and it’s okay if you don’t like it. Here are two things you can do to help you get to “I love myself so  much I would go down on myself” levels of thinking:

Mellowing Out with Monica – November Meditation

listen to the HugLife Podcast (huglifepodcast.com) and buy a You’re Great shirt to remind yourself 🙂 Get it here.

youre-great-red

 

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