Comedian

Tag: Internet Trolls

I Know What America’s Problem Is

After a year and a half of watching people argue online, taking notes on what really fires us up as Americans and what really fires me up, I have figured it out. Second only to grammar mistakes, the reason people are so mad at each other is because our number one purpose in life is to get in other people’s business. Grammar mistakes could possibly fall under that same umbrella. We are upset about the
things other people are doing, that frequently don’t affect us and they are upset that we are upset. It’s not our fault, we’re still Americans… nothing is our fault. Someone else made us into this, potentially on purpose so that they could manipulate us by showing us other people’s stuff to get in.

Internet Mind Control And How It Works

Yes, I am writing a blog about this and that hypocrisy is not lost on me, it’s as if I did it on purpose. Here at MonicaNevi.com we are only trying to highlight the comedy that is in the bullshit. I do genuinely want to draw our attention to the fact our natural longing to snoop in other people’s shit has been monopolized by people who are smarter than us. Possibly a symptom of technological advances, not that those advances allow us to peer into each other’s lives more easily but that they make everything else so mindless that we get bored and need to know what you are up to in order to entertain ourselves. You don’t even have to use your words to have a stranger bring food to your door anymore.

Social media is the new medicine cabinet. There is some biological explanation for why I think it is a horrible idea you got engaged but then spent 45 minutes going through all of your engagement photos. You look like assholes and I want to see it. Even if you did a good job of staying out of other people’s business, the next time you are in any real-life social space someone is going to ask if you saw what Sarah posted on her Facebook or read that blog post that Monica put up. You want to be able to be involved in the conversation. A major part of the world can be seen as a gossip site and America is the comment section that got real racist for no apparent reason.

The petty, childish social stuff is not what is wrong with America. What that conditioning has spawned is the problem. It’s our incessant need to be involved in other people’s business and lives when we are not satisfied or entertained by our own. I could screenshot some terrible examples that have come up in the last week but I’m sure you have been traumatized enough. What I am talking about is the need to argue with each other because what they think about the things that you think is worth arguing over until neither of you know who’s life you’re talking about. Not them, their life is perfect and they have run out of things to worry about. So much so that when a bunch of people decided to go for a walk at the same time, it made them so mad. I struggle with this concept because if you didn’t go for the walk, you did everything you can do to change that. If you think tweeting people who took the time to make a witty sign that you hope they get raped is going to get some of them to change their minds, I very seriously question the presence of brain activity.

The Real Problem With America

The problem isn’t that you are upset about something that affects you, it’s that you want to meddle in other people’s lives so constantly that you forget about your own life and how most of this has nothing to do with you. It is just another vein to run unsubstantiated hatred through. I just don’t understand why it is so hard for us to keep our mouths shut about stuff that doesn’t affect us. The curiosity is understandable, it’s the ability to call people out and anonymously attack them about it that is new and out of control. Look in the medicine cabinet but don’t run out of the bathroom with their Valtrex in hand, screaming that they are a whore. As soon as they point out a different name on the bottle or tell some heartbreaking story about why they would have that in the first place, you are going to look like a grade-A dick bag. Why does every little thing have to be an argument? America feels like the parents that should have gotten divorced years ago but stayed together for the kids even though the kids won’t talk to them anymore.

The part every single person should be upset about is that we got tricked. They got us, they did it all on purpose. “They” being the smarter people that targeted us dummies, who love gossip so much it’s in the title of many of our favorite entertainment sources. They were smart enough to use our need to know what’s in the medicine cabinet, what you said in your diary, your e-mails or your text messages against us. I – so badly – want to know what freaky stuff you have waiting in your Amazon basket. Our natural curiosity has been turned against us by removing the filter on our constant judgment.

What Can I Do To Fix This Problem?

What can you do to fix this problem? Great question. Nothing, the answer is nothing. Doing nothing actually helps us out a ton. Don’t argue with people, don’t comment, don’t start political conversations with people you know you disagree with. Do nothing. You would think that would be an easier thing to do for Americans but that’s what you get for stereotyping. The only people you need to be angry at are the people who actually make decisions. Government representatives are literally the only people who have any power to change something. You can contact them, vote or do nothing those are your options. Or these very simple specifics:

  1. If you are anti-abortion, don’t get an abortion.
  2. If you cannot get pregnant, don’t worry about making choices for a pregnant woman.
  3. If you are against marriage equality, don’t marry someone of the same sex.
  4. If you don’t agree with a protest, take your daily walk at a different time.
  5. If you see people fighting on the internet, pretend it is a read-only version.

Do these things and the pain will subside for you individually, which is the first step in fixing the whole problem. Imagine each internet fight is the exact same as fighting with your spouse. The most logical and efficient thing to do is to take time to clear your head instead of arguing at the height of your anger. This is how to avoid bringing up “that one time with the barista” or whatever.

Next time someone wants to argue just walk out of the comment section like:

 

SHOCKING: Troll Proves Comedian’s Point

Last week I posted a blog post about ideas regarding hate and violence I had been sitting on for some time. It was met with a mostly positive reactions, which made me very happy as this was a very difficult post to write and I wanted to do it in the most appropriate ways possible. However, there was one person that got caught up in some joke wording that really steered him away from the main idea of the post, which you can read here.

We have an early morning argument that I have been describing as the internet equivalent to talking quietly to someone who is yelling at you. I screenshot what ensued for your entertainment before I did delete the very annoying cyclical argument and I will break it down now.

Strong StartScreenshot (19)The most interesting part of this is that I made a joke in the first three lines of the blog about how white women are stereotyped to hate minorities and run charities. That got nothing. We can see here from the get go that this is never going to “go my way” because he refers to me in the third person while posting directly to my page and then calls her a cunt. You guys are smart, so you see me calmly and eloquently call him a stupid, small-minded, self-hating, misogynist. He does not notice that. Let’s continue.

Projected InsecuritiesScreenshot (20)

I think the disregard for any oppression is just as hindering as blatant projections of discrimination. I try to keep it light and reiterate that he is missing the meaning of the blog by focusing on really just the fact that I am white. However, I can’t actually control myself and I’ll translate my underlying sass. When I said “my post got crossed up with your daily search to dethrone white guilt” I meant “I consider you a white men’s rights activist who is so caught up in your own privilege that you spend time at your mom’s house just looking to troll anyone who is not paying attention to white people exclusively.”

I actually prefer “people Bing” but I trust either just the same. The reason I don’t really get inflamed during this whole thing is that nothing he said ever really upset me -except the cunt word. Nothing else he says is more important than what the actual post was about. Also, saying someone is a descendant of Africa is as specific as calling someone white. Africa is a continent where most black people are from, white people also mostly come from one continent.

Getting Mixed InScreenshot (21)Quickly noting that aside from hateful slurs “scripts I’ve penned” is one of the grossest phrases in this language. Part of his first comment is cut off but you are clearly not missing anything that I felt was worth addressing.

I think it becomes very clear here that he has grouped me into all the other arguments he has had about this certain topic. Which probably progressed similarly because he is still holding onto a lot of frustration about it. I do not like words like tolerance or equality and therefore did not use them in my post. I did use love, my bad. Now, equity is the most important word here because he does not understand it. Because he did not personally oppress (he thinks) anyone then he shouldn’t have to help them now more than he has to help himself. He also needs to be credited for treating people in a way that he is JUST SUPPOSED TO. My dismissive joke about the make my brother’s race conjured up his fear that someone might forget about white people if we don’t reiterate we are not all evil. That constant compensation alone is the the sure sign of a Napoleon Complex. Equity is what is fair, equality changes language and leaves it at that. Here is my favorite illustration to show the difference: 2014_health_equity_SHR_health_equityThe argument continues as some other supporters get involved. Notice again it becomes obvious the dude is not smart enough to get any humor at all. As I stated earlier that I was a cunt because of the need to protect myself from dudes like him, he took that as me telling him it was okay to use that word. Actually it was deflecting and then saying that “people like him” that use hate speech like that make me defensive. Screenshot (22)

I ended it because it was becoming cyclical and really pulling away from the positive direction everyone else was taking it. So I deleted them and put them here. I do want to thank everyone that shared, liked  and commented about it. Especially, to those who sent me personal messages and e-mail that were all super nice. It made me worry even less about this dude.

We talk about it a little bit more on this week’s episode of the HugLife Podcast which you can check out here or on iTunes/Stitcher.

Now imagine me leaving my first internet fight, like this:

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