Monica Mondays- I Want to Cuddle With Oprah

The last couple weeks have been pretty weird for me. Maybe you too. Fairly often I get so overwhelmed by what is happening I just stop feeling things and start to float around almost carelessly. What I mean by that it I am not really doing anything or feeling anything. Over the weekend I had the chance to go camping far enough into the woods that there was no cell phone service or any of that other crap. It was nice, it was fun and as much as I wanted to be able to find some clarity it just ended up being weird. So this week’s post is going to be weird because I am just going with it.

In the past week I have been smoked weed a few times, which is a fairly normal week in my book. However, given some of the personal turmoil and stress I have been dealing with my mind does this thing (I think to protect itself) where it goes off into the most random places and dives in head first. Contrary to what you might think, my mind does not always dive in head first. In some down thinking time I had to myself, when I could really tackle the important things I need to be thinking about, I came to the realization that I would really like to cuddle with Oprah. Maybe I am running from some internal feeling but at least I am running into the arms of Oprah!

Here are some reasons I would really like to cuddle with Oprah. First, physically she seems like a good cuddler. Skinny people are the worst for cuddling, Oprah is perfect. I am not saying she is fat, she is perfect. I know what you are thinking, big spoon? Little spoon? I would want to be the little spoon for physical reasons but also because I fell very inferior to her and it seems inappropriate the other way around. Me? HOLD Oprah? That’s not what I am talking about here. Secondly, obviously we would be somewhere fancy and super cozy, like her house. I am not a sleep cuddler, I enjoy it as an activity but once you fall asleep I will push you away from me. However, I feel given the overall softness of this scenario, I may be able to squeeze in a cuddle nap if it was with Oprah. Finally, and most importantly, pillow talk. I am a HUGE fan of pillow talk and she is SUCH a good talker. I would just lay on her chest and listen to her tell me all the secrets about being a successful, independent, strong black woman. I could learn the tricks about how to have strong friendships like her and Gayle. Or how to convince a man to stay in his own damn house forever but still love you, like Stedman. I would tell her about my life and she would encourage me to follow my dreams because we need more strong women in the world to be successful and help others on a large scale. She then promise to tell all her friends to go to huglifepodcast.com and listen to the positivity I am trying to bring to the world. She would also tell them to buy our new “You’re Great” t-shirts here (mkt.com/monica-nevi) cause Oprah knows best.  I would open up a little too much and accidentally tell her about the time I saw a rock I thought looked like Barbara Streisand. She would laugh and tell me that it was just a manifestation of the internal strength I posses to be one of the best in my industry and the longevity of my career to come, just like Barbara. I would tell her I wished she was my big sister this whole time and then she would pull out a joint she had rolled just for us and tell me that she already was.

And then I realize I spent an entire weekend living a hypothetical cuddle session with one of the richest women in the world and that I probably shouldn’t have told every on stage about it at that show on Saturday. That show where I had to tell jokes and then smoke weed and then tell jokes again, which just ended up being about me cuddling with Oprah and Jimi Hendrix being from Renton. But since I let it out there I figured I would let you guys in on my little secret. Here is a visual aide, I am the Koala.

 Thanks for starting your week off on a ridiculous note with me :)

Love,

Monica and Oprah

Monica Mondays- Rest Easy

Today is rough for me but rougher for you, I am sure. It is not my place to tell a story here but I can share what is scrambling around in my brain in hopes that some of it will straighten out. I had planned to write to you today about Charleston and a post about race that is a long time coming. It will come soon but I have been given the opportunity to shed light on some amazing people instead of remind you of the horror that has manifested itself as some ‘human beings.’

Last night as I was leaving Tacoma Comedy Club after a very fun show of doing what I love, something terrible was brought to my attention. One of my very best friends from high school, whom I fondly refer to as Moses (Mosesitos if you’re nasty), lost his younger brother to an incredible fight with cancer. His little brother who I always called Baby B, cause they love my nicknames. Here is what has spiraled me into a mental space of absolute confusion: why him? And you know what the problem with that question is? There is no answer. Let me give you a small bit of background, Moses and I go way back to middle school. He has always been one of those people for me, that I would do anything for. Sure we have had some arguments and have done some shitty things to each other, like the time he left without me for a camping trip were supposed to go to together or the time I (and other people) shaved one of his eyebrows off after he passed out at a party. We have had our times but Moses is always there, through all the shitty, stupid mistakes I have made in my life, my change of direction, my painful relationships, he is always there. He is supportive, he is strong, he is constant and I love him. Moses is a man in every sense of the word, rugged, protector, in control and respectful. One of the best people I have ever met in my life and I am so lucky to still have him there.

Moses is a man that doesn’t crack easily, as I am now a woman who acts similarly, maybe that is why we get along. Baby B was diagnosed with a cancer that looked hopeless, but that meant nothing to him. I have never seen such a positive outlook on something and it was completely selfless. Baby B was one of those people, you know those people, that you are so deeply envious of their complete compassion for others, personable demeanor and all around fun attitude because it is real. The most genuine of people that actually care about others and the greater good more than themselves. When Baby B got sick he fought hard for us, for all of us rooting for him and loving him every step of the way. Boy did he kick that thing’s ass. He was one of those guys that you can tell them they are going to die in a month and he just won’t do it because he knows how strong he is. Baby B made it two more years in this fight without ever being supposed to make it at all. He became an inspiration not only to those who could connect with his fight but to anyone who even heard about it. A true testament to the power of positive thought and strength. He was impressive in every way and his hard work gave us all a little more time and a little clarity in what life should be about and how you should live it. He did exactly what he was supposed to do and I can only thank him for that.

In the wake of more random shooting violence, the loss of a great President of Washington State University and the tragic passing of our friend Baby B I can’t help but wonder why. Why them and not the shooters? I cannot wish death or pain on anyone but it is part of my job as a human being to try and ease pain. I can confidently say to you we are now worse off for the losses we have suffered this week. The world is a little less bright, I am a little less hopeful and the pain I see is nearly unbearable. I have only heard amazing things about President Elson Floyd, I only know wonderful things about Baby B and I am astonished by the welcoming compassion of those at the church in Charleston. It’s painfully obvious that there is no reasoning behind this, all I can think so far is that I want to live forever like these people will. Known as great inspirations and forever remembered as such. That’s how you do it. You live in such a way that everyone you meet will remember how you made them feel, forever. It’s not fair, I am really starting to understand what that means but it can be good, at least for the moments you have. Rest easy to those we have lost this week, thank you for changing us for the better. I am mostly talking to myself when I say this but value the lasting impressions these people have made on those around them. My life has changed because of the goodness they chose to live theirs through. Time heals wounds but don’t forget where that scar came from. Make time for those you value, time is the most precious thing. Love your people harder than you ever have, they are truly irreplaceable. Most of all just be there for those struggling, in any way. It may just change everything.

Thank you,

Monica

Monica Mondays- Post-Show Interaction

After shows people come up to the comedians to say whatever they think they should say and to be honest, most of the time, we love it. I like the attention, that’s a large part of why we do it. I wanted you to laugh and if you liked it I want to know. If you liked it. I really like talking to people after shows. Usually interesting or funny or a way to tell you to listen to my podcast. I want to think that people are coming to say something because they liked us and keep doing that but here are some things I have gathered that me and my comedy friends would like you to keep in mind.

1. Most of us are friends. This is important because at least once a show I hear someone say “I liked you way better than the other people” whether that be to me or to the comic standing right next to me that I can clearly hear. The beauty of comedy is that it is subjective. I am always going to be someone’s favorite and always going to be hated by someone. If you feel that strongly, tweet them later or something.

2. You don’t have to say anything. e appreciate compliments and love knowing that you liked it but we really don’t care if you didn’t. You don’t need to tell anyone how they could have changed a joke or that you think I will find someone to love me some day. Walking by and smiling is just fine.

3. Don’t take up all of someone’s time. Often times there are multiple people who would like to take to the comics after the show. When you stand there and tell us all about how you friend’s cousin does stand up in a different city and ho he is like your brother because you grew up net door to each other and both of your parents are alcoholics, that’s too much. Go get a drink and then come back when everyone else is gone. More often than not comics are pretty cool and will talk to you for some time afterwards.

4. Hold of on the offering of sex. Sometimes, people enjoy a person’s presence so much that they become attracted to them and I get that. But usually that person is drunk. I suppose if you are going to offer sex don’t beat around the bush about how you finally got a night out in Enumclaw cause someone else is watching the horses for the night and how I was really funny but your wife wants to know if I would like to join you both for sexual activities. Well, all your compliments are lies to me at that point! But if the horses are elsewhere I’m sure we could work something out. Again, sexual offers aren’t something to yell out while we are taking a picture, save it for SnatchChat or whatever.

5. Please don’t let a comics appearance take away from how you felt about their material. Even if you are complimenting them on their flannel shirt or how their hoodie matches their shoes, make sure you say something about their actually stage time. Personally, I would prefer you didn’t say anything at all to you just telling me you think I am cute.

I am not tying to be snarky, it just comes out like that naturally. No, I really do like interacting with people after the shows and people online but there are certain lines that are annoying hen crossed but I don’t think anyone has repainted those lines in a long time. This whole thought came about because I got a “compliment” on Thursday night at Tacoma Comedy Club from a middle aged woman that was so backhanded I truly would have preferred she said nothing than drug me down to the level she did. She was walking out and noticed the feature comic, Scott Losse, next to me. She loved Scott and told him so but did not acknowledge me. I turned to Scott to make a joke as she was walking away. She saw me and made it a point to come back and say “you were pretty good too… you are just cute enough where you don’t have to rely on being funny.” And that’s when my whole world started spinning a bit. I laughed out loud at her face because it was so ridiculous. First off that phrase in itself is insulting because again you are dismissing the material. Second, as a woman I guess I expected her to think differently than that. And most importantly if you are going to say anything about my physical appearance in comparison to my comedy please do not use the words “just enough” or “kind of.” If you just had to say it you better damn well start with “you are really pretty…” Then when you end with something I will think about before bed for the rest o my life at least I have “really pretty.” Instead of me thinking well good thing I am not even a little uglier than I am, just a notch down and I would totally have to rely on being funny.

All in all, you guys are the best and I love talking to the people who come to my shows or read what I write or listen to the podcast. I just want us to have the most meaningful encounter possible. If that kicks off with some sexual talk or condescension, let’s start over.

Thanks to everyone who comes out to shows and especially to those who have just started coming or are new fans. I love you the most out of all the fans I saw tonight and we should have group sex while the rest of the people wait to buy a CD from the headliner.

I love you.

Monica

Monica Mondays- Breast Friends

The second week of this new blog segment has already been a little difficult to come up with a new topic, but this is about me so we figured it out. Last week was National Doughnut Day and it was a big deal. People standing in lines wrapping the outsides of doughnut shops in order to celebrate a day they found out about that morning with a cheap or free doughnut. Well done America, the more you know. There are a lot of ‘national days’ (I guess cause they are not holidays too most people) National Siblings Day was in April, if you missed it earlier this month on the 1st of June was National Heimlich Maneuver Day (celebrate carefully) and later this month make sure you catch National Onion Rings Day on the 22nd. There is a very extensive list on nationaldaycalendar.com. How many are made up? I don’t know. I do know that February 6th is no longer my birthday, it is now National Monica Nevi Day, cool? Which according to the website I now share with National Lame Duck Day, Wear Red Day and Frozen Yogurt Day. Prepare accordingly for next year’s Lame Red Frozen Duck Yogurt Monica Party.

This may seem random and I think that is the point. However, today as I was doing my normal morning routine of hitting the snooze button an embarrassing amount of times, checking twitter (@MonicaNevi) for way too long and barely getting out the door to stroll in one minute early to work I came across a Time.com article about National Best Friends Day. It’s TODAY! When I say article I actually mean click bait of the “odd” celebrity best friend groups that you wouldn’t expect! And it works. Did you expect that Cameron Diaz and Snoop Lion-Dogg would be best friends? No? Then keep clicking and open up your sexist and racist mind to the plethora of beautiful friendships that celebrities have. I did click through all the photos, CAUSE I LOVE THAT SHIT. The real reason it was exciting was because I can write about that. Best friends get me in trouble, I’ll explain.

There are quite a few people in my life (maybe 15 or more) that I call ‘one of my best friends.’ 5 of these people I call my absolute best friend. Science and math tell us that this is impossible but I don’t care. Friendship exceeds the limits of possibility and also the stupidity of saying something like that. I have spent a lot of time and energy, good and bad with each of these people and they have done the same with me. I am well aware of the differences between a friendship and someone I consider a best friend. If I don’t see a friend for a year, they become an acquaintance. If I don’t see a best friend for a year it becomes a physical hazard to both of us because we will hunt each other down eventually. Best friends are the ones that every time you see each other it is like nothing has changed, you are still on the inside of that circle, forever. One of my major flaws is that once I let someone in, they are in for life. I would donate organs and give them all the money I have. I am the one who is constantly trying to figure out how we can hang out and what date night of theirs I can ruin with my ridiculous schedule. I love my best friends, they love me, it is beautiful, I will be in all their weddings and eventually live in their basements. It’s pretty simple.

Why would that get me in trouble? Here’s the thing, not everyone thinks like that. Many people, love interests, friends, co-workers have come and gone in my life. My best friends can only seem to get the first part of that right. I have lost track of the amount of arguments I have had with people about how my bffs are more important than them and that I have too many good friends. Well, that is only because they are more important than you. When we get tired of each other and your exhaustively high energy level and constant talking drive me crazy they will still be here and you won’t. I think too often we lose touch with good people in our lives, maybe that is our fault, maybe it’s theirs. I do find value in just checking in with people, even if it has been awhile. Tell them that you miss them, call them a bitch, whatever your thing is. It is National Best Friends Day, when else are you going to do it?

:)

Monica

Monica Mondays- Family Emergency

Welcome fans, friends and anyone who would read this that doesn’t like me. I decided I wanted to work on writing and bring the blog back! Weekly posts about something I think is important and you probably do not. Could be silly, could be serious, could be seriously silly. Here we go!

This week I have been thinking about the ability we have to spend time with our families. You can define family however you want, parents maybe, if they are alive and you talk to them. Some people have families they have made up out of friends who treat them properly and have become closer than family. Some people are so socially awkward that they consider anyone who can talk to them on a regular basis family, that counts too. I am lucky enough to have a pretty great family. They’re mostly still alive and I also have some awesome close friends who are moderately still alive.

Last weekend I was able to spend some time in Denver with family I do not often get to see. It was a blast! Every time I get to be around my whole family there are a lot of people running around, joking with each other and drinking a lot. It always makes me think ‘awwww… that’s why I am like this.’ It was another great time for me personally. Getting to see people I don’t get to, people getting drunk enough to answer my questions about their divorces and meeting people I didn’t know I was related to or possibly am not related to.

I had a great trip but there is always some stress around visiting family, some from the drama involved in such a trip but mostly from taking a break from real life. I had some plane time to think of how silly that idea is. It should be required by your employer that you take multiple breaks a year to visit whomever you consider family. The easiest way to get out of work is to say someone in your family died. Why is it difficult to get time off work to see them while they are alive? I am starting a movement that it should be easier to get off work to see your family now than after they die. I want to hear some bosses say “oh no, they passed away? That means you’ll have all this extra time to be at work instead visiting grammie.” I mean if your boss is that condescending then maybe you have other things to reconsider but you get what I am saying. I just think we should be easily able, if not required to visit with the people that have to pretend like they love us, before they die. I think you should be able to call out if you have the opportunity to visit with family that is in from out of town. We voted for a $15 min wage in a lot of places, I think this should be just as important in order to get the highest quality out of your employees.

Too often do tragic situations remind us of something simple like this. You lose a loved one and you are reminded of how important it is to cherish the time you actually have with them. At that point you are reminded of this only because it is to late. Stop letting silly things like work or grudges keep you from telling people or showing them that you love them. I know Kendall Jenner is off hanging out with her hot new Mom, Caitlyn Jenner, exchanging Photoshop tips and competing for public attention. So why shouldn’t we be taking the time to tell people we love them, send them an e-mail to say you miss them or make a simple phone call to tell them their boobs look great on the cover of Vanity Fair? Or whatever personal conversations we need to have with our families.

All I am saying is don’t wait until it is to late to spend time with people. And this is coming from a comedian that struggles with sentiment and hasn’t recently lost any close family members. Make it about the people you love before it is an emergency. Also, call out of work as much as you can, it is the worst and it is slowly killing all of you.

#BOOM #DONE #MonicaMondays!

Thank you for reading! Come see me this week on Thursday for the Big Show at the Seattle Comedy Underground and our Seattle Super Secret StandUp Show at the Atlas Theatre in Fremont on Friday! (There is anew tab for the podcast and for the show up above! Like my facebook and follow me on twitter and instagram cause I am cool I swear… and swearing is cool!

-Monica

Craigslist Realness

If you are not aware once a month at Tacoma Comedy Club in Tacoma, Washington we put on a Battle of the Sexes show. And as much as I love that constant comparison (sarcasm) that show is really fun. Stand-up and improv games for points to see who wins and who gets mad over an imaginary competition! That being said the ladies team (Team Snatch Berries) won this last round. :)

During the show we have HEAD-TO-HEAD battles which are my favorite part and can include, writing a short rap, an emo poem or in this case a craigslist missed connection/casual encounters ad. The August competition had me selected against Mr. Nigel Larson to write a Craigslist ad which the audience got to choose the location and 3 words I had to use in the ad. I had to write an ad for someone I met at Subway using the words mayonaise, sock puppet and Salvation Army. Here is what I came up with:

I knew we had something special when I saw your foot-long. I usually don’t eat sandwiches but as fate had it I would try a lot of new things that day. I hate mayonnaise but I ordered extra to get my point across. I have never ever felt like this since the last time I was at Salvation Army and that guy asked me for a hand job while I wore a donated sock puppet… that didn’t work out. I wouldn’t be writing this if I wasn’t over him. I can’t stop thinking about you putting your extra meat in my warm bun. If you ever want to find out how Jared lost all that weight, e-mail me and I’ll show you exactly what he ate.

The audience greatly enjoyed it and I won that head to head battle. Naughty and ridiculous, I received many compliments afterwards for my forbidden love story. The previous month I had written an emo poem about marriage that was fairly popular and someone had requested that I post it online. I posted it on my fan page (facebook.com/monicanevi) for those who missed out on the performance to read.

Since, that went so well we decided I should actually post my craigslist ad to craigslist.

Original Craigslist Post

Here are my favorites out of the responses:

Many were very aware of what was happening and replied that it wasn’t them but they were interested anyways: 

Screenshot (11)

Not him

Some thought, just maybe they were the Subway Prince:

Boat Accident

A few just jumped right in and started talking dirty and ridiculous:

(This is a long drawn out inappropriate story but the yellow mark is my favorite park)

nips

Most just had this question:

ate2ate1

And some just wanted to compliment my talents:

Screenshot (10)

Such interesting responses from just one fake craigslist ad. And as much as I wanted to know more about the boat accident or tuning a distant radio, all of those guys are still waiting for the Subway Princess to respond. Even the guy that sent me the picture of him in his speedo…

All in a months work at the Tacoma Comedy Club Battle of the Sexes show. Next show is October 19th at 8pm! If you wear a costume you get in for free!

If you want to hear more about my ridiculous life and specifically more about the most recent Battle of the Sexes show listen to my podcast with Mike Coletta called Hug Life! Episode 5 we talk a lot about the September edition! Listen to all the episodes, subscribe and rate/review it so more people can enjoy the positivity!

http://huglifepodcast.com/

:) Monica

Birthday! Vegas and Awards!

Ok, I know you have been waiting but in this post you will find this year’s Monica Nevi’s Birthday Awards! If you are unfamiliar, I give out awards to the best birthday wishes I receive every year. Gives YOU something to be interested in on MY birthday… nice of me I know.

These are a little later than other years because I spent the weekend in Vegas… more like Vegas spent the weekend in me. I don’t know what that means either. Bullet point summary of the trip start:

  • VIP sections
  • Asked to leave the same VIP section three times
  • Pain in feet, still finding cuts and bruises
  • Lost and then recovered phone
  • Anxiety attack
  • Good friends who give lovies
  • Seahawks at the VIP table next to us
  • Only real disappointment is that my own was the only naked body I saw and I am not married still.
  • Good time overall

End

Start Birthday Awards:

First birthday wish (America): Adam Trevino 12:00am Feb. 6th, complete with count down texts from 11:58pm!

First birthday wish (International): Beau Owen-Smith from Australia!

Most Obnoxious birthday wish: Aaron Kirby, via facebook, in all caps, COMPLETE WITH IRRELEVANT TANGENTS!

Best Photo Collage: TIE Mandy Schendel and Armando Ballesteros, cause I like pictures of both of you…

Best Personalized Video: Kristen O’Neill and Kacie Sowell, just for being adorable and awarding me points

Best Random Video: TIE Brandi Ervin, only because I did exactly what those runway models did more than once the first night out in Vegas (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=XaZlHOUDGgw&feature=youtu.be). David Leon, Lil Debbie can make the fuck out of a cake, I don’t think I would eat it or one David made but I liked it. (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Eil5FNfQGfY&feature=youtu.be)

Most Surprising Wishes: TIE All of my exes that texted me, which was almost all of them. And the fans that sent me messages/memes/posts because it is surprising I have fans!

Best Tweet: ME! Yeah I am giving myself an award for sitting in a Vegas restaurant alone on Friday and tweeting at least 40 celebrities that they had “accidentally forgotten to tell me happy birthday yesterday” Haha I laughed out loud everyone I sent. It went out to pop stars, actors, rappers, comedians, athletes, drag queens, and more! I got responses from Sir Mix-a-lot (he called me sweetheart), Mo Collins, Alaska Airlines, Sarah Colonna, The Comedy Store, and gained like 11 twitter slut followers. I deserve an award for that, especially because that is a very low percentage of responses from how many people I tweeted that too haha. My life is actually pretty sad most of the time :)

Congrats to the winners! Thanks to everyone who played even if you didn’t know you were playing! Many of you were very close, you guys keep making this harder for me! I’m excited to see the angry “this is bullshit” tweets from the losers…

Thank you everyone, I had a great birthday because of you! Especially Sir Mix-A-Lot.

Monica :)

Tis the Season to be PC

Happy Holidays friends! Yeah, I said holidays! Tis the season for political correctness people. I think it is necessary to address this issue, especially around this time of year. Maybe it is odd and/or hypocritical for a comedian to be pro-political correctness but I am. I will explain why.

If we are not being politically correct, for whatever reason, it’s exclusion. Pretty simple. Exclusion is it’s own form of discrimination. By saying “It’s Merry Christmas and not Happy Holidays” you are excluding a huge group of people that don’t celebrate Christmas. In another scenario would you do that? Would you say, “everybody have a good weekend, except the Jews because you are different”??? No. And if you would stop reading, this is not going to turn out well for you.

If something makes someone feel bad, you shouldn’t do it. This all seems very elementary to me because that’s how you should be treating people anyways but for some reason we forget. It’s saying little person instead of ‘midget’, not using the word ‘fag’, supporting the African-American community instead of ‘the blacks.’ It’s eas. And understand that for every rule there is a reason and that reason is the way those things make people feel. Those words make people feel bad, mistreated and excluded. Therefore it has been requested that we use different words that don’t evoke some ill feelings. Sure, words can never hurt us but it’s not a way to make friends. Unless your goal is to make people feel bad or you really hate some group, political correctness is necessary.

It is amazing what feelings words can conjure up. Now, you are right, I don’t know what it is like to be a gay man or an African-American or a little person, your struggles are your own and I respect that. However, I was walking down the street in Seattle last year and a homeless man looked right at me and said “Hey bitch, you got any beer?” in the most aggressive and disrespectful way I have ever heard that word. I had never had anyone use that term in such a intentionally hurtful way. He wanted to assert himself, I guess. I have never had such a physical response to someone calling me a name like that, I felt terrible, my stomach was turned over and I started to sweat. At first I was confused that anyone would have the audacity to actually say that to another person but after comprehending that it happened I got really mad. My initial reaction was to hurt him back, but I told him ‘no’ and walked away. I almost turned around when I realized how badly I wanted to call him a fucking asshole and say hurtful things about how he ended up in his current homeless state, which I would follow up with a little sales advice in that alienating your audience and deeply offending them is probably not the best way to find the bitch with the beer. However, that would be throwing hate around just because I was hated on. Fighting fire with fire doesn’t put out a fire it just makes a bigger one. I don’t want to be called a bitch, it is demeaning and excludes me from a group who you feels deserves the more respect than I do. That’s fuckin rude.

I think it is healthy to be able to joke around with your friends or have fun with people about your differences, in fact I see that as a way of embracing them. With that in mind, excluding a group and/or demeaning them because you are so passionate about the way you do things or celebrate a season is ignorant and disrespectful. I am embarrassed by association. And yes I say Merry Christmas to my friends and family that I know celebrate it but I only think airports should have Christmas trees if there are Stars of David and African cloth, art and everything else to celebrate too. If that can’t be accommodated then don’t put anything up. If you don’t have enough to share with the class, save it for home. Again, it’s that elementary.

Just be aware of other people and how you would feel if you were excluded. A lot of the time we are politically incorrect unintentionally and it doesn’t come from a bad place but it is still there and still hurtful. There is no fucking war on Christmas, there is simply a want for inclusion. No one said “We need to get rid of the Christmas trees and only put up only menorah,” they simply asked to be represented as well. I think that is admirable and isn’t that what the season is all about? Togetherness and taking care of each other.

A little intense and corny but this is something that has been bothering me.

In other news I updated my calendar and the Daily Dabble is back!!!!!!!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=H_lQIdnr7lE

Happy Holidays!

Monica

Night Six: And Scene

Well there it was. The end. Last night at the Parlor Live in Bellevue for our final night of the Seattle International Comedy Competition Week 2 Preliminary. What a great crowd to preform for on the last night, I had a wonderful time. The overall experience was rewarding and I think I learned a lot. Last night specifically felt good, until I went over time just at the end and got a .5 penalty which definitely effected my nightly ranking but didn’t really matter in the weekly standings. I did get a little upset afterwards and look for the waitress that dropped a bunch of silverware in a bucket while I was mid joke, which I chose to comment on and probably would have been under time had I not done that. Then I realized how crazy that was and just let it go.

Overall feelings and rewards from the week:

1. Now, in a retrospective analysis, I am actually happy with the way the week went and fairly impressed with how I did. I am younger, less experienced in comedy and in competitions. I still managed a first place night and an overall 8th place finish for the week. It was questionable whether I even belonged in the competition and I think I did a good job of answering that question.

2. I learned so much. The necessity of confidence and the reason I should be confident in what I do, it’s funny. The next steps for me and some things I need to get in order before I make them. The real subjectivity of art. How my body responds to highly stressful conditions. And many Australia sayings that I will hold onto forever.

3. People always say it’s about who you know not what you know and I have always thought that was true. Now I know a lot more people whom I learned a lot from and had a great time with. I consider these people friends and there are a plethora of cities and countries I could go to and feel I had a place to stay. My favorite moments from the week were in the car or the bar sharing stories or just being idiots. There are a handful of people that if they weren’t there it would have been 20 times harder to do this thing.

4. There isn’t a way to describe how difficult this week is. I think for all the comics on the bill it was stressful, emotional and disappointing at times. However, I did it. I finished and I am happy with how I did. I didn’t cry, I didn’t give up, I didn’t even call any of the judges a bad name… well, maybe. There is a big split some times in the “who is a comic and who is an open micer” blah blah. But I can definitely say, I feel more like a comic now than I ever have before.

Unfortunately, there is one little thing that isn’t fantastically positive about the end results. I felt like the female comics on our week were really strong, so funny. But none of us made it to the semi-finals. I didn’t get the chance to see any shows last week but unfortunately none of the female comics got through then either. Meaning that there are zero females in the semi-finals at all and obviously won’t be any in the finals. I don’t necessarily think there is a place to put blame in this topic but it is noticeable and there were definitely ladies that were capable of being up there. Our week was very close and many of us females were close to getting in that top 5, but just missed it. That may be the one negative feeling I have to take away from this. Obviously, I would have liked to see at least one female comic make it through this thing but we’ll have to wait for another year for that!

Am I happy I did it? Yes. Would I do it again? After some time I would consider it. Am I in love with at least half of the contestants on my week? Yes.

Thank you for the support through this whole thing and to all the people that came to some shows, you are amazing! Keep coming out and supporting me and my fellow comics, we are definitely worth it!

And congratulations to all the semi-finalists you ALL did amazing and I wish you great shows this coming week!

:) Monica

Night Five: The Break Up

I haven’t had a real break up in almost 4 years but we were chatting about it last night and that is the same exact feeling, emotionally I have been feeling this whole week. It doesn’t seem that I am the only one either. It’s the constant trying to calm yourself down because you are so nervous or upset or whatever. Luckily, I am a bit of a cold hearted bitch so I am pretty good at dealing with these types of things. I haven’t cried yet, which is actually fairly surprising but I feel like after the first night I was pretty good about not paying to much attention to what was happening because again, it’s 3-5 judges with your wellbeing in their hands and they don’t give a shit.

This is like the end of a relationship that is dysfunctional but you want to hold on to it for some reason because some times it’s really good! But other times it’s really bad and he makes you cry. One night you feel like you are the only girl in the world and the other nights he has already moved on to someone else. You put yourself to bed in an effort to relax and forget about the pain of you losing your relationship but you wake up feeling just as nervous and upset. And instead of being strong, moving on and empowering yourself you just go right back for one more night to see if he can love you again. It’s a 6 day cycle of trying to hold on to something that never really was. After tonight, we will try and hold onto the good things that came from our relationship and forget the rest and move on looking for a more stable, rewarding set of shows. I need someone to treat me right.

At least that is what we were talking about last night.

Night five was interesting. Hometown, so great to see some of my friends and family there supporting me! However, I got more nervous for this one than I had for some others and the crowd was very split for me. Which was fine, honestly I’m not upset about how it went. I didn’t make top 5 but I didn’t do poorly, I was close up there. And as far as the whole week goes, everything is still really close. So sure, there is a chance. There is a chance for a lot of us. There is also a chance that my work will burn down and I won’t have to go in anymore. So yeah there is a chance for me but only if someone really fucks up.

Tonight is the final night at the Parlor Live at 7pm. You can see the results for the week and maybe I will cry? But I have been surprised by a few things that I have learned this week:

1. I actually like Canadians.

2. I don’t think any shows after this will ever seem hard.

3. The emotional responses I have had to this show me that I do care about it and I have definitely chosen correctly if I was trying to find something to be passionate about.

4. I need new headshots. Monica -20 lbs looks a little different than what I have for headshots now.

5. I really do need a vacation.

I have completely stopped identifying as a real person, this week has totally immersed me in something that I don’t think a normal person could understand. Any other emotion besides something involving the competition has completely shut off. It’s really all I have been thinking about and I never went into this with that intention. In fact, I have had a full weekend booked next weekend for awhile, that’s how well I saw this thing going. So to even have been able to stay in the middle of the pack being younger, less experienced, not having representation or any tv credits is pretty good on me I think. So there were good things about our relationship and how that is going to further my development as a comic and professional. Tonight is that last night, to get that closure and be proud of what we had together but realize it is time to walk away.

Monica